Day 10 - Clearly, I'm still not sure why I'm here...

Well, that's not all together true. I made an attempt a few days ago to figure out "my purpose" but Amy pointed out to me that it was kind of weak and she was right. I think it's probably part of the fear that can bubble up when you start down this kind of self-improvement path. You just don't want to mess it up. AND a life purpose does seem like such a big deal!! Talk about commitment - your life purpose is your whole reason of living!!

So anyway, I guess I came up with something that sounded a'ight and was trying to gloss on to the next chapter. It was pretty subconscience (sp?). I really thought I was doing the exercise but in hindsight, I rushed thru it and didn't give it another thought since. So not a Jack move. Good thing, I've got Acton to keep me honest :)

So I've been doing a lot of thinking on this one. This is what I've got after many attempts:

"My life purpose is to use my optimism and creativity to uplift others in a empathetic way to find their own unique talents to shine."

I'm still not 100% sure of this but I feel like I'm getting closer. Guess I'm still a work in progress on this one. Jack suggests considering meditation to help your purpose come. So I may turn to that.

Day 9; Principle 2 Be Clear Why You're Here

Principle #2

Be Clear Why You Are Here

This principle suggests that each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take.

Successful people take the time to understand what they are here to do. And then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm.

If you don't have a life purpose it is very easy to get sidetracked, wander, drift and accomplish little. But with a purpose everything seems to fall into place.

Everything you do should be an expression of your purpose. If an activity doesn't fit that formula, you wouldn't (and I suppose shouldn't) work on it PERIOD!

Figure out what you love to do as young as you can and then organize your life around figuring out how to make a living at it.

After some thinking, soul searching and completing The Life Purpose Exercise on page 23 I have put my life purpose into words.

My Life purpose:

To use my compassion, insight and creativity to help others feel comfortable and good with who they are as well as help them recognize their own unique inner and outer beauty.

I love it. I feel good about it. Now to live it!

AA

:0)

week 1 in review

As the first week of our experiment draws to a close, I thought I'd reflect a little on some key SP concepts...

1) When it comes to the principles, you gotta actually do the work, if you want to lose weight, "no one can do the push-up for you." (Crap, you mean I actually have to use the gym membership?)

2) Take 100% Responsibility. Our choices affect everything - once we take responsibility rather than sit back & "let" things happen, we realize that we have the power to do anything... Lose the excuse - life is tough but we have the ability to achieve these things when we give up excuses and find solutions rather than dwell on obstacles. (but... but... but nothing!)

3) Stop complaining. Successful people replace complaining with making requests and taking action that will achieve your desired outcomes. (Complaining! Bah. not to complain but I hate complainers! ;0)

4) Heed "yellow alerts" - Amy spoke about these. To simplify, it's your "gut instinct" or other indicators of trouble that we often ignore. Successful people, tune into these alerts and trust them. Sometimes it's the tougher road but it's the one we need to start taking. (I knew it!)

5) Be Clear On Why You're Here: Figure out your life purpose - which is a combination of reflecting on your unique personal qualities + how you like to express those qualities when interacting with others while envisioning how people would act in a perfect world. (I'm pretty sure my purpose includes an Oscar after-party and a few million dollars...)

Though it was personally a rocky start to the New Year, I am excited to look ahead and anxious to do the work, take responsibility, give up complaining, pay attention to alerts and live my life purpose!! Why? Because, "yes we Can... field!"

xo

Jen

DAY 7; Principle 1

I have to tell you, there is something to this taking 100% responsibility and no complaining.

I FEEL FANTASTIC!

I am sick with a serious cough and cold, I am saddened by the Passing of Jen's dear sister-in-law Maritza, I have been working my ass off, putting in 14 hour days...

BUT BY GOLLY I FEEL GOOD. REALLY GOOD.

A simple adjustment in attitude can really make all the difference.

Also paying serious attention to my yellow alerts has made a big difference. I have realized when something doesn't feel right to me, it isn't right for me!

Now, when something doesn't feel right I STOP, take a moment, analyze, and see if there is anything I can do to make it feel right. If I can't, I will simply and politely remove myself from the situation.

A great thing I have been experiencing is, it seems, most people really do care and don't want others to be unhappy or uncomfortable.

When you let others know you are not comfortable, for the most part, they are are interested and genuinely willing to try and find a way to make everyone involved happy, at the very least comfortable.

This has reminded me, we are all human, we all want to be happy and feel comfortable. It is something that I believe everyone can relate to.

So, when your yellow lights go on don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. People actually respond positively to it and I think, respect it.

I feel like I am ready.

Principle 2 here I come!

Day 6: The Meaning of Life

I've ventured into Principle Two of TSP (The Success Principles) and the title of that Principle is, BE CLEAR ON WHY YOU'RE HERE. It's pretty much all about defining "your purpose."

Makes sense. If you're stuck in a crappy job but don't know what you really want to do, it's easy to stay put. It's hard enough to go for your dreams when you have a clear idea of what your dreams are.

When kids are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" They'll joyfully blurt, "fireman, nurse, baseball player, ballerina..." Kids don't say, "hmmm, what comes with a good benefit package?" They don't question whether or not they've got the skills for the position or if it's "realistic." No. Kids go with what they think they would enjoy at the moment. Some kids even want to do a few things, "I wanna be a lawyer, astronaut and hot dog chef," might be a response.

It took me a long time to realize that I'm meant to tell stories and write - ultimately entertain. It's funny, if I look through my life, I've always been a writer. I remember being six years old and "writing" a very short play (a musical no less!) for a few of the neighborhood kids, It was called, "It's A New Year Tom & Jerry." I found a curtain, I gathered props. I cast Tom and Jerry and that's about all I remember in my fuzzy memory of that. Not even sure we ever performed it but there I was writing a play - then when I was eight, I wrote a short story called "The Hungry Cat," which I still have (thank to my slight hoarding habit) and I went on to write several poems through grammar school. In HS & college I excelled in my classes (which I credited to my ability to write a good paper no matter what. I could "BS" my way into an A) I thought. Always writing poems and small ideas.

But never did I think to pursue writing as a profession. I never thought I was good enough to get paid for it. I thought I was just OK. I could never be as good as a "real" writer. I didn't bother to try to write for the school paper and it never dawned on me to give writing any meaningful thought.

I always loved film & television. During college, I decided to study Communications. I wanted to work in TV. I interned, worked hard and got hired on a National Talk Show right out of college. By the time I was 22 I was an associate producer. A fancy title! Cool business cards! Good salary and great benefits! Life is good. but it wasn't. The job was 24/7 - it was stressful, pounding work and it wasn't making me happy. I took a step back in title... It took a few years of wandering through different positions at the same company for me to finally stumble upon my bliss... WRITING... Screenplays.

Hmmm. I loved writing. And film.... Why did it take me until the age of 27 to realize that not only would this make total sense for me, but I'd actually be pretty good at it!?

Amy, already having a screenplay under her belt, Co-wrote my first venture into screenwriting, "Searching For Ben Affleck." A screenplay I'm still proud of to this day. Since then, I've gone on to write more than 12 different shorts, feature length and spec sit-coms scripts.

I also enjoy developing stories through reality television shows, documentary and informative programming.

Jack has an exercise on page 23 of TSP that help you define your purpose - If i was to define my purpose, it's: "to entertain and inspire people through creative mediums."

So, I definitely think I'm on the right track at this point.

On a side note, today and tomorrow are the services for my sister-in-law. I'm sad. Her death is a reminder to me that life does goes quickly and we need to make sure we are living with purpose and following our dreams while we are here.

xo

Jen

Day 5

So here I am in day three of principle one; Take 100% Responsibility for your life.

I have to say, so far so good. Now, I don't want to lie and make it seem like this has gone off without a hitch...

Sunday started off with a complaint. I was having my morning coffee and I said to my husband that I did not want to go to work. " Yeah, I hear you it must really suck to have to go to work at a major TV network on a hit show and have a great time at work once you are there. Man, you have it rough" Mockingly he said to me. "Remember NO complaining" he firmly reminded me.

Since then I have caught myself a few times. Now, if I start to complain, I stop... Then tack and adjust my train of thought. I look for the good in the task I was about to complain about.

For and example loading the dish washer, a task I do not love. I simply stop and think how happy I am to have a dishwasher. Then I think about how, in the near future, I will be able to have a housekeeper come and load the dishwasher for me if I want.

:0)

AA

Day 4: The Dog Ate my Blog

OK, so I'm starting to feel a little better physically and emotionally. Thank you to all who expressed their condolences for our loss and concern over my illness.

I had enough energy to get back into Jack so I began to tackle some of the first chapter. And it's main focus is taking responsibility. Amy talked about it some - and her decision not to complain anymore as Jack recommends.

What hit home for me was the section titled, "You Have To Give Up All Your Excuses."

"If you want to create the life of your dreams then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life... giving up victim stories, all the reasons why you can or can't... It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you -- it is you! We stop ourselves. We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors... We fail to educate ourselves, learn new skills, engage in gossip, eat unhealthy foods, fail to exercise, spend too much money, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don't ask for what we want."

Well, holy crap. I am very guilty of excuses. When you read this chapter in depth, and examine what it means to make excuses and not take responsibility for your life, you start to realize that you are probably soooo guilty too. If you've ever uttered the words, "My life sucks because my job sucks." Or anything of the sort... You are guilty. Because you're making the choice to have a sucky life by staying in a sucky job.

Yes, you might have a mortgage and mouths to feed. People may not have the "luxury" to just quit. But there are always ways out. Most of us stay in "sucky jobs" and "sucky" situations more out of comfort than anything else. Change forces us out of our comfort zones. Often, when people are faced with whether they should consider using their time to really job hunt or learn a new trade or skill, go back to school, full on network - people opt to give into that feeling of, "eh why bother?" and they stay put, it feels immediately easier to stay in mediocre or even bad than shoot for great... I was guilty. I actually was in a somewhat comfy job, I liked the people I worked with enough, the job was okish but I felt there was more out there for me - I often didn't feel like I was operating at full potential or encouraged to. Yet, I stayed, I didn't try to get anything else and aside from being guilty of comfort I was even more guilty of being uncomfortable with the idea of change, rocking the boat, taking a chance, confrontation, having to quit and leave the people I'd worked with for years of thinking I'd be disappointing my boss and coworkers... I had an immense fear of leaving and winding up in a worse place and it paralyzed me to stay in a position of ok instead of seeking great.

In the past year, I've made so many excuses for things. Even losing weight. How many times when I had a full time job I uttered the words, "I don't have time for exercise." Now that I'm working from my home and theoretically have "time" to exercise, I still hear myself saying, "I don't have time to exercise." Yes I do and yes I did even when I was working in New York City full time. I might not like the time frame I have to exercise. Be it getting up at 5 AM or going at 8:30 PM but I technically can walk, do jumping jacks in place or go to the gym at those times - I've chosen not to. Why? Because quite frankly at 5 AM, I am choosing sleep and the warmth of my bed and at 8:30 PM I'm typically choosing a trashy reality television show but that's my choice. So, I have to take responsibility and say I am choosing not to use those times to exercise - instead of making the "excuse" of not having the time at all.

At first glance, excuses are like nice warm fuzzy blankets that comfort you. It pushes the fault off of you, it takes the decision out of your hands... "It's not my fault I'm fat... I just don't have time." But it's bullshit and the thing is, once you acknowledge it's BS, it's actually kind of liberating because now you can change your thinking from it's impossible to it's possible - you can control your life, your weight, your job, your dreams, your destiny...

Can I do it...? "Yes I Can... field!" (Oh I'm back.)

People stay with the wrong partner, in jobs that don't satisfy them, stop reaching for dreams, going for things they want for all kinds of "reasons" (excuses). We become so programmed to believe these limiting things that we take it as fact and not excuse.

Anyway, I'm going to work on this. If i want to lose weight, I'm going to lose weight. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it. No more blaming the economy, my boss, the decade, the weather, a bad hair day for my problems. No more complaining.

I gotta go, I have weight to lose!

Oh crap, the cat peed on my Tae Bo tape. maybe tomorrow ;)

xo

Jen