OK, so I'm starting to feel a little better physically and emotionally. Thank you to all who expressed their condolences for our loss and concern over my illness.
I had enough energy to get back into Jack so I began to tackle some of the first chapter. And it's main focus is taking responsibility. Amy talked about it some - and her decision not to complain anymore as Jack recommends.
What hit home for me was the section titled, "You Have To Give Up All Your Excuses."
"If you want to create the life of your dreams then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life... giving up victim stories, all the reasons why you can or can't... It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you -- it is you! We stop ourselves. We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors... We fail to educate ourselves, learn new skills, engage in gossip, eat unhealthy foods, fail to exercise, spend too much money, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don't ask for what we want."
Well, holy crap. I am very guilty of excuses. When you read this chapter in depth, and examine what it means to make excuses and not take responsibility for your life, you start to realize that you are probably soooo guilty too. If you've ever uttered the words, "My life sucks because my job sucks." Or anything of the sort... You are guilty. Because you're making the choice to have a sucky life by staying in a sucky job.
Yes, you might have a mortgage and mouths to feed. People may not have the "luxury" to just quit. But there are always ways out. Most of us stay in "sucky jobs" and "sucky" situations more out of comfort than anything else. Change forces us out of our comfort zones. Often, when people are faced with whether they should consider using their time to really job hunt or learn a new trade or skill, go back to school, full on network - people opt to give into that feeling of, "eh why bother?" and they stay put, it feels immediately easier to stay in mediocre or even bad than shoot for great... I was guilty. I actually was in a somewhat comfy job, I liked the people I worked with enough, the job was okish but I felt there was more out there for me - I often didn't feel like I was operating at full potential or encouraged to. Yet, I stayed, I didn't try to get anything else and aside from being guilty of comfort I was even more guilty of being uncomfortable with the idea of change, rocking the boat, taking a chance, confrontation, having to quit and leave the people I'd worked with for years of thinking I'd be disappointing my boss and coworkers... I had an immense fear of leaving and winding up in a worse place and it paralyzed me to stay in a position of ok instead of seeking great.
In the past year, I've made so many excuses for things. Even losing weight. How many times when I had a full time job I uttered the words, "I don't have time for exercise." Now that I'm working from my home and theoretically have "time" to exercise, I still hear myself saying, "I don't have time to exercise." Yes I do and yes I did even when I was working in New York City full time. I might not like the time frame I have to exercise. Be it getting up at 5 AM or going at 8:30 PM but I technically can walk, do jumping jacks in place or go to the gym at those times - I've chosen not to. Why? Because quite frankly at 5 AM, I am choosing sleep and the warmth of my bed and at 8:30 PM I'm typically choosing a trashy reality television show but that's my choice. So, I have to take responsibility and say I am choosing not to use those times to exercise - instead of making the "excuse" of not having the time at all.
At first glance, excuses are like nice warm fuzzy blankets that comfort you. It pushes the fault off of you, it takes the decision out of your hands... "It's not my fault I'm fat... I just don't have time." But it's bullshit and the thing is, once you acknowledge it's BS, it's actually kind of liberating because now you can change your thinking from it's impossible to it's possible - you can control your life, your weight, your job, your dreams, your destiny...
Can I do it...? "Yes I Can... field!" (Oh I'm back.)
People stay with the wrong partner, in jobs that don't satisfy them, stop reaching for dreams, going for things they want for all kinds of "reasons" (excuses). We become so programmed to believe these limiting things that we take it as fact and not excuse.
Anyway, I'm going to work on this. If i want to lose weight, I'm going to lose weight. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it. No more blaming the economy, my boss, the decade, the weather, a bad hair day for my problems. No more complaining.
I gotta go, I have weight to lose!
Oh crap, the cat peed on my Tae Bo tape. maybe tomorrow ;)
xo
Jen
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