week 1 in review

As the first week of our experiment draws to a close, I thought I'd reflect a little on some key SP concepts...

1) When it comes to the principles, you gotta actually do the work, if you want to lose weight, "no one can do the push-up for you." (Crap, you mean I actually have to use the gym membership?)

2) Take 100% Responsibility. Our choices affect everything - once we take responsibility rather than sit back & "let" things happen, we realize that we have the power to do anything... Lose the excuse - life is tough but we have the ability to achieve these things when we give up excuses and find solutions rather than dwell on obstacles. (but... but... but nothing!)

3) Stop complaining. Successful people replace complaining with making requests and taking action that will achieve your desired outcomes. (Complaining! Bah. not to complain but I hate complainers! ;0)

4) Heed "yellow alerts" - Amy spoke about these. To simplify, it's your "gut instinct" or other indicators of trouble that we often ignore. Successful people, tune into these alerts and trust them. Sometimes it's the tougher road but it's the one we need to start taking. (I knew it!)

5) Be Clear On Why You're Here: Figure out your life purpose - which is a combination of reflecting on your unique personal qualities + how you like to express those qualities when interacting with others while envisioning how people would act in a perfect world. (I'm pretty sure my purpose includes an Oscar after-party and a few million dollars...)

Though it was personally a rocky start to the New Year, I am excited to look ahead and anxious to do the work, take responsibility, give up complaining, pay attention to alerts and live my life purpose!! Why? Because, "yes we Can... field!"

xo

Jen

DAY 7; Principle 1

I have to tell you, there is something to this taking 100% responsibility and no complaining.

I FEEL FANTASTIC!

I am sick with a serious cough and cold, I am saddened by the Passing of Jen's dear sister-in-law Maritza, I have been working my ass off, putting in 14 hour days...

BUT BY GOLLY I FEEL GOOD. REALLY GOOD.

A simple adjustment in attitude can really make all the difference.

Also paying serious attention to my yellow alerts has made a big difference. I have realized when something doesn't feel right to me, it isn't right for me!

Now, when something doesn't feel right I STOP, take a moment, analyze, and see if there is anything I can do to make it feel right. If I can't, I will simply and politely remove myself from the situation.

A great thing I have been experiencing is, it seems, most people really do care and don't want others to be unhappy or uncomfortable.

When you let others know you are not comfortable, for the most part, they are are interested and genuinely willing to try and find a way to make everyone involved happy, at the very least comfortable.

This has reminded me, we are all human, we all want to be happy and feel comfortable. It is something that I believe everyone can relate to.

So, when your yellow lights go on don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. People actually respond positively to it and I think, respect it.

I feel like I am ready.

Principle 2 here I come!

Day 6: The Meaning of Life

I've ventured into Principle Two of TSP (The Success Principles) and the title of that Principle is, BE CLEAR ON WHY YOU'RE HERE. It's pretty much all about defining "your purpose."

Makes sense. If you're stuck in a crappy job but don't know what you really want to do, it's easy to stay put. It's hard enough to go for your dreams when you have a clear idea of what your dreams are.

When kids are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" They'll joyfully blurt, "fireman, nurse, baseball player, ballerina..." Kids don't say, "hmmm, what comes with a good benefit package?" They don't question whether or not they've got the skills for the position or if it's "realistic." No. Kids go with what they think they would enjoy at the moment. Some kids even want to do a few things, "I wanna be a lawyer, astronaut and hot dog chef," might be a response.

It took me a long time to realize that I'm meant to tell stories and write - ultimately entertain. It's funny, if I look through my life, I've always been a writer. I remember being six years old and "writing" a very short play (a musical no less!) for a few of the neighborhood kids, It was called, "It's A New Year Tom & Jerry." I found a curtain, I gathered props. I cast Tom and Jerry and that's about all I remember in my fuzzy memory of that. Not even sure we ever performed it but there I was writing a play - then when I was eight, I wrote a short story called "The Hungry Cat," which I still have (thank to my slight hoarding habit) and I went on to write several poems through grammar school. In HS & college I excelled in my classes (which I credited to my ability to write a good paper no matter what. I could "BS" my way into an A) I thought. Always writing poems and small ideas.

But never did I think to pursue writing as a profession. I never thought I was good enough to get paid for it. I thought I was just OK. I could never be as good as a "real" writer. I didn't bother to try to write for the school paper and it never dawned on me to give writing any meaningful thought.

I always loved film & television. During college, I decided to study Communications. I wanted to work in TV. I interned, worked hard and got hired on a National Talk Show right out of college. By the time I was 22 I was an associate producer. A fancy title! Cool business cards! Good salary and great benefits! Life is good. but it wasn't. The job was 24/7 - it was stressful, pounding work and it wasn't making me happy. I took a step back in title... It took a few years of wandering through different positions at the same company for me to finally stumble upon my bliss... WRITING... Screenplays.

Hmmm. I loved writing. And film.... Why did it take me until the age of 27 to realize that not only would this make total sense for me, but I'd actually be pretty good at it!?

Amy, already having a screenplay under her belt, Co-wrote my first venture into screenwriting, "Searching For Ben Affleck." A screenplay I'm still proud of to this day. Since then, I've gone on to write more than 12 different shorts, feature length and spec sit-coms scripts.

I also enjoy developing stories through reality television shows, documentary and informative programming.

Jack has an exercise on page 23 of TSP that help you define your purpose - If i was to define my purpose, it's: "to entertain and inspire people through creative mediums."

So, I definitely think I'm on the right track at this point.

On a side note, today and tomorrow are the services for my sister-in-law. I'm sad. Her death is a reminder to me that life does goes quickly and we need to make sure we are living with purpose and following our dreams while we are here.

xo

Jen

Day 5

So here I am in day three of principle one; Take 100% Responsibility for your life.

I have to say, so far so good. Now, I don't want to lie and make it seem like this has gone off without a hitch...

Sunday started off with a complaint. I was having my morning coffee and I said to my husband that I did not want to go to work. " Yeah, I hear you it must really suck to have to go to work at a major TV network on a hit show and have a great time at work once you are there. Man, you have it rough" Mockingly he said to me. "Remember NO complaining" he firmly reminded me.

Since then I have caught myself a few times. Now, if I start to complain, I stop... Then tack and adjust my train of thought. I look for the good in the task I was about to complain about.

For and example loading the dish washer, a task I do not love. I simply stop and think how happy I am to have a dishwasher. Then I think about how, in the near future, I will be able to have a housekeeper come and load the dishwasher for me if I want.

:0)

AA

Day 4: The Dog Ate my Blog

OK, so I'm starting to feel a little better physically and emotionally. Thank you to all who expressed their condolences for our loss and concern over my illness.

I had enough energy to get back into Jack so I began to tackle some of the first chapter. And it's main focus is taking responsibility. Amy talked about it some - and her decision not to complain anymore as Jack recommends.

What hit home for me was the section titled, "You Have To Give Up All Your Excuses."

"If you want to create the life of your dreams then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life... giving up victim stories, all the reasons why you can or can't... It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you -- it is you! We stop ourselves. We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors... We fail to educate ourselves, learn new skills, engage in gossip, eat unhealthy foods, fail to exercise, spend too much money, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don't ask for what we want."

Well, holy crap. I am very guilty of excuses. When you read this chapter in depth, and examine what it means to make excuses and not take responsibility for your life, you start to realize that you are probably soooo guilty too. If you've ever uttered the words, "My life sucks because my job sucks." Or anything of the sort... You are guilty. Because you're making the choice to have a sucky life by staying in a sucky job.

Yes, you might have a mortgage and mouths to feed. People may not have the "luxury" to just quit. But there are always ways out. Most of us stay in "sucky jobs" and "sucky" situations more out of comfort than anything else. Change forces us out of our comfort zones. Often, when people are faced with whether they should consider using their time to really job hunt or learn a new trade or skill, go back to school, full on network - people opt to give into that feeling of, "eh why bother?" and they stay put, it feels immediately easier to stay in mediocre or even bad than shoot for great... I was guilty. I actually was in a somewhat comfy job, I liked the people I worked with enough, the job was okish but I felt there was more out there for me - I often didn't feel like I was operating at full potential or encouraged to. Yet, I stayed, I didn't try to get anything else and aside from being guilty of comfort I was even more guilty of being uncomfortable with the idea of change, rocking the boat, taking a chance, confrontation, having to quit and leave the people I'd worked with for years of thinking I'd be disappointing my boss and coworkers... I had an immense fear of leaving and winding up in a worse place and it paralyzed me to stay in a position of ok instead of seeking great.

In the past year, I've made so many excuses for things. Even losing weight. How many times when I had a full time job I uttered the words, "I don't have time for exercise." Now that I'm working from my home and theoretically have "time" to exercise, I still hear myself saying, "I don't have time to exercise." Yes I do and yes I did even when I was working in New York City full time. I might not like the time frame I have to exercise. Be it getting up at 5 AM or going at 8:30 PM but I technically can walk, do jumping jacks in place or go to the gym at those times - I've chosen not to. Why? Because quite frankly at 5 AM, I am choosing sleep and the warmth of my bed and at 8:30 PM I'm typically choosing a trashy reality television show but that's my choice. So, I have to take responsibility and say I am choosing not to use those times to exercise - instead of making the "excuse" of not having the time at all.

At first glance, excuses are like nice warm fuzzy blankets that comfort you. It pushes the fault off of you, it takes the decision out of your hands... "It's not my fault I'm fat... I just don't have time." But it's bullshit and the thing is, once you acknowledge it's BS, it's actually kind of liberating because now you can change your thinking from it's impossible to it's possible - you can control your life, your weight, your job, your dreams, your destiny...

Can I do it...? "Yes I Can... field!" (Oh I'm back.)

People stay with the wrong partner, in jobs that don't satisfy them, stop reaching for dreams, going for things they want for all kinds of "reasons" (excuses). We become so programmed to believe these limiting things that we take it as fact and not excuse.

Anyway, I'm going to work on this. If i want to lose weight, I'm going to lose weight. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it. No more blaming the economy, my boss, the decade, the weather, a bad hair day for my problems. No more complaining.

I gotta go, I have weight to lose!

Oh crap, the cat peed on my Tae Bo tape. maybe tomorrow ;)

xo

Jen

Day 3 Life is short

Day two was a bust for me, I just couldn't get out of bed between hurting physically and hurting emotionally. My sweet sister-in-law, Maritza, left this world early Sunday morning. She was 54 years old. She went in for a pretty standard procedure a few weeks ago and thru a series of events (the family will be investigating) this resulted. We are heartbroken, she was the strength of her family.

Needless to say, I haven't done much past the introduction of The Success Principles. I will try to read some later this afternoon.

Though this isn't the way I had envisioned kicking off 2010, If there's one thing this situation has reminded me of is this: Life is too short. Life is too short to "wait" to start living. Live everyday in a state of gratitude because as Jack has said, having gratitude is having abundance. Every day of life is a gift that we too often take for granted. What I am looking forward to with this book, even in this time of sadness, confusion and heart ache (not to mention the haze of Nyquil and antibiotics for my illness) is that this life we've been given is the only one we got - and we do have to take responsibility for making it the best it can be.

Amy, thanks for carrying the blog for now - I read it... and he is right - we need to be 100% responsible for our lives, our choices, behaviors, ideas, feelings - they are all us. It's easy to blame the economy, a friend, the media, the world for our problems but there's probably a way for us to do things differently to have a different outcome.

In any case, I'm ready to start taking responsibility for my life. Almost. Maybe tomorrow. Today I'm in mourning and trying to mend myself emotionally and physically.

Ritzie, I'll miss you. You touched so many people. Rest in peace, sister.

DAY 2: Principle #1

Ok, so Here we are in day 2.

Poor Jen, Her sister-in-law isn't doing any better today. And now Jen has the flu. So it seems it will be just me today.

Success Principle #1

Take 100% Responsibility for your life

This one is not going to be too hard for me. I pretty much already live by that and believe it.

When I was a kid growing up one of my fathers favorite expressions was... I am not responsible for your happiness... You, Amy Beth are responsible for your own happiness.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY DAD! And although this bit of advice has served me well as an adult truth be told I don't know if I agree that it is the kind of thing you teach a 7 year old.

I remember how much it hurt and upset me when he said it for the first time... How could you say that to me... What? Dad, seriously, Don't you love me? don't you care about me? Don't you want me to be happy? Are you crazy???? Of course you Dad and mom are responsible for my happiness. I don't have an education, for Christ sake I am only in the 2nd grade!!! I don't have a job or any money, I can't drive, I can't even use the stove. Give me a break would ya here? I am pretty sure at that age you might be responsible for my happiness.

looking back, I think he might have told me that at such a young age simply because he wasn't the perfect dad... He knew he wasn't, and maybe it his way of letting me know ahead of time that I better not depend on him too much for my happiness because he might eventually disappoint me and let me down.

It wasn't up until I became an adult living on my own that I actually understood what he was trying to teach me. And although I still hold firm in my opinion that this is not a lesson meant for anyone under the age of 17. It is one of the best lessons anyone can learn and live by.

So today I feel fortunate and one step ahead of the game because principle #1 is pretty much in place for me and all I need to do is fine tune it. And I AM ON IT! this whole week...

I will...

Take 100% responsibility for my life.

Give up all excesses

Remember E+R=O (Event+Response=Outcome)

Remind myself that everything that happens to me today is the result of a choice I made in the past

Insanity is continuing the same behavior and expecting different results

Give up blaming and complaining.

Listen to my internal yellow alerts and trust my instincts

Now I am not going to lie to you here... The giving up complaining might be a little tough.

Why, you ask? Well, I am not actually a complainer... OK, OK, that is a lie!!! I LOVE TO COMPLAIN! But truth be told I do it for fun... I just love to make fun of myself by complaining about things I know are ridiculous. I know what I am complaining about is ridiculous.

I know it is completely inconsequential to my life. But I LOVE TO DO IT!!!! It is mostly for the humor. But I am not going to do it. That is it. If Jack says no complaining, then no complaining it is. No matter what the reason or how funny I think it is.

Wish me luck.

:0)

AA