THE VISION EXERCISE PART 3&4

THE VISION EXERCISE

PART 3&4

? What are you doing with your family and friends in the free time you have created for yourself...

I am traveling. I love seeing new places, meeting new people and experiencing different cultures.

I take my friends and family with me whenever they want and are available. And when we are not traveling we just enjoy hanging out at home.

? What hobbies are your pursuing...

I would love to collect a great personal library so that my family and friends could enjoy it. I actually have a policy now that I love. If you borrow a book form me I ask that you read it and then write what you thought of it in the back. It could be one line or a essay. Either way, sometimes the things people wright are just as good as the book, sometimes even better.

? What do you do for fun...

I spend time with my family. Husband, children, my parents, my sister and brothers along with their spouses and children. They really are my favorite people in the world.

? What is your ideal vision of your body and your physical health...

I am extremely healthy. I keep in good shape and see myself living to be over 100 years old. I am happy and joyful.

Even in my older years, well after 70, I am fit, spry and have all my faculties.

I have learned to age gracefully, respect and embrace the body god gave me. My inner beauty still radiates thur my eyes and people are amazed at how old I actually am.

Stay tuned for 5...

THE VISION EXERCISE PART 2

THE VISION EXERCISE

PART 2

? What is your ideal job or career

I am running and building my empire STYLE STUDIO a personal style concierge service. It's mission is to provide unique quality style, fashion and beauty services that are designed to meet the diverse needs of every individual client.

Not only do we have the primary business Style Studio has...

A hit TV show based on style, fashion and beauty

a clothing line

and a successful and very popular blog.

? Where are you working

We have offices in NYC, Los Angeles, Paris and almost every major city in the world. But I mostly work out of NYC, Los Angeles and Paris.

? What are you doing, Whom are you working with

I am running the business with my business partner Francesco and we are loving it! We are having so much fun and everyone who works us really enjoys their jobs and is happy to come to works and work for us.

? What kind of clients or customers do you have

Not only do we have almost every celebrity you can think of as a client there are also a large amount of business men and women, athletes, as well as stay at home moms.

? What is your compensation like

The company will be grossing well over 20 million a year within the next 10 years. So, needless to say we are doing very well.

? Is it your own business

Hell Yes! Well mine and Francesco's.

Stay tuned for part 3.

AA

:0)

144 NO's

So this blog has been challenging for both Amy and I lately. Even if it's a little bit of a slow go, we are not giving up.

Something that's always stuck out to me and something that I really try to remember is the importance of perseverance. The importance of never giving up. Thomas Edison has said that he discovered "more than a 1000 ways on how NOT to invent the lightbulb." Edison didn't give up and after over 1000 attempts, and he eventually brought us light.

Jack Canfield has reported that he got 144 NO's when trying to sell his first book, Chicken Soup For The Soul. What if he gave up after the first five, ten, 50 or 100 rejections? His 145th try gave him the yes he needed and Canfield went on to sell over 8 million copies, in multiple languages, and paved the way for many other books (including the Success Principles!)

I truly find so much inspiration from both these stories. One man gave us light and the other has enlightened. Ordinary men fail because they give up. Great men succeed, no matter how long it takes.

xo

Jen

IT'S EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNING;

Yeah, not so much.

When I started this principle I thought pleeeeeease this is going to be a piece of cake. If I could understand and apply Principle #1: take 100% Responsibility For Your Life, and Principle #2: Be Clear Why You Are Here this one Principle #3: Decide What You Want, is gong to be easy. Easy Like Sunday Morning.

However, It wasn't. I became blocked and frustrated. I felt like I couldn't see it exactly or correctly. And that had been holding me back.

In the exercise it asks you get very specific about certain things for example... How much money do you have in savings and investments? I couldn't answer this. I culdn't even see it. I don't know much about investments and felt whatever I said it would be inaccurate or incorrect.

But then Jennifer pointed out that this is a tool not a test. there is no correct or incorrect answers. And it is not supposed to get me stuck inside my head. Just the opposite! It is supposed to set me and my head free. With that advice I sat down yet again and attempted this exercise.

I have to say it went soooooo much better and was actually fun and exciting.

So, over the next few days I am going to be sharing my vision with you.

Part #1: the financial area of my life

? What is your annual income...

I have doubled my income every year over the past 10 years giving me and annual income of $51,200,000.00 by the year 2020.

? What does your cash flow look like?

I have no worries about cash flow. The money that is going out is coming right back to me in double.

? How much Money do you have in savings and investments?

Enough so that I and my family and my family's families will never really have to worry about money.

? What does your home look like? Where is it located?

It is a grand brick, center hall colonial located in The Jerz of course. and a little FYI I also have places in NYC, LA and Paris.

?Does it have a view? What kind of yard and landscaping does it have?

The Home is set high on one of the cliffs in the north Jerz. The view of NYC is AMAZING. The thick plush lawn, that is littered with dancing butterfly's and fire fies in the summer, just drops off into the city's skyline.

? Is there a pool or stable for horses?

I know there probably aren't any horses but a could take or leave a pool.

? What color are the walls? What does the furniture look like.

See here is where I would be stuck before. But today I am just going with it. How about I just say the colors of the walls are anything but black or navy blue. The furniture... is stylish, welcoming and comfortable.

Last ?: Visualize what kind of car you are driving and any other important possessions your fiances have provided.

Ok. so, I am not driving any car. I have always said when I become rich my very first course of action will be to heir a driver. I honestly don't love driving all that much. And I am thinking for a car a really nice sedan. like the A8 or a Maserati or maybe both.

The other major, major possession I will be getting is a JET. Once I had the opportunity to fly home from Los Angeles on Larry Kings private jet and I realized, right then and there, that I really, really, really, wanted that luxury. If you travel often in my opinion there is nothing better that the private jet.

Ok, so there you have it. Part one of the vision exercise.

Stay tuned for part 2.

AA

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The Yellow Notebook

In Principle #3 Jack talks about our responsibility in honoring our needs and wants... no matter how small they are, they matter.

Jack recounts the story of being assigned a yellow notebook. He hated that color but was going to just accept it since it was assigned. When the instructor encouraged them to switch if they preferred another color, he realized the importance of honoring your feelings and making choices no matter how big or small.

Jack stresses that whenever you are given the chance to make a choice, make it. Express an opinion. Never say, "I don't care" or "it doesn't matter." No matter how mundane, this gets us in touch with what we really need and want. When you put others first, you put yourself down in a way.

I've been guilty of this my whole life. I usually "defer" to the other person. I'll shrug off stuff but deep down inside, really wanted something else. I've become very used to "swallowing" my feelings and "going with the flow." I am often so concerned with pleasing others that I forget to please myself.

Now to be fair, over the years I've recognized this flaw and have been working on this for some time. So I definitely have come a long way. But, I still have a way to go. I'm definitely going to practice having opinions a lot more often. Sorry everyone - I may be a pain in the ass but I like my notebooks pink.

xo

Jen

Principle #3 Decide What You Want

PRINCIPLE #3

DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT

What do I want to accomplish?

What do I want to experience?

What possessions do I want to acquire?

What does success look like to me?

These are the questions posed in

Principle #3

Principle #3 is primarily "The Vision Exercise" where I am to relax meditate and picture life the way I want it. I am to focus and see every aspect of the life I want and then write it down

After I write my vision I am supposed to read it everyday, this will keep my conscious and subconscious mind focused on my vision. And the share my vision with a good friend who I can trust to be positive and supportive.

This is exciting... I can't wait for both of us to do the exercise and then share it with each other.

Next time you hear from me I will have a clear vision of my life.

AA

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I want to win a Golden Globe

Big television today... first was the under-estimated, often laughed at, New York Jets stun everyone by shutting down the offensive power house, San Diego Chargers and then it was time to go from tom boy to girly girl and tune into the Golden Globes.

Here's the thing with the Jets. They are supposed to suck. They have long been considered a joke. I'm used to chants of, "same old Jets" and "Just End The Season." Jets fans haven't seen a Superbowl appearance/win since 1969 -- it's been battered and bruised season after season and we are used to uphill battles. And this year was no different. They have a rookie coach, a rookie quarter back and a whole host of rookie defense men. They needed a miracle to make it to the play offs... and somehow they did it. And I think I know how. On paper, they are never the best team but they don't know that. They believe. Their coach believes. Coach Rex Ryan tells them every week that this is their destiny. They go out on that field, fearlessly and they know and believe in what they want. No one can tell them they aren't as good as there opponent. Week after week, teams have underestimated them, announcers have said it's impossible, and week after week - the Jets have gotten "lucky" enough to win. Luck. That's what so many say because they just cannot fathom this little Jets team that keeps winning. But I think it's their power in believing. That power is undeniable. I hope to learn something from them.

And the Golden Globes. The glamour, the humor, enough star power to rival the milky way! To be in a position to proudly be acknowledged for your creative contribution... I can't think of a bigger thrill! And I want that day for me!!

I'm glad we're reading this book and am anxiously looking forward to applying Principles that will assist me to find that inner belief, that undeniable confidence that I can stand toe to toe with the biggest linebackers in hollywood and somehow still find a way to stun them all and come out "lucky" enough to be wielding a Golden Globe of my own.

Cigarettes and Butterfly's

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." -Maya Angelou

I hit a little patch of, let's say, temporary mini depression.

You see, while only doing things that fit my "life purpose" is all well and good. It has left A LOT room and empty space for change. And it is hard, a little sad and lonely here right now.

The time that used to be spent being off purpose, wasting time, mindlessly watching re-runs on TV, hanging out with the people I talked about the other day, or running here for this one and doing that for that one is now free.

Don't get me wrong, it is great. Now, I focus on the things I need and want to spend time doing to remain"on purpose."

I am FAR MORE productive. I have accomplished more this week than I have in a week in a very long time.

I have felt much more in-control, focused and organized.

I even had free time to actually sit relax and have coffee and breakfast with my bestie.

I guess it is just, old habits are hard to break. Let me compare it smoking. If you have ever been a smoker, or are one now, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Smoking is bad for you. there is nothing good about it! It is literally slowly destroying you. THIS IS A FACT! Even as you are smoking that cigarette, enjoying it, in the back of your mind you know this is not good and completely self destructive

HOWEVER, you just don't stop, as a matter of fact, you start spending more and more time with Philip (Philip Morris that is) all the while knowing that it is one of the most ridiculous and stupid things you could be doing.

Then one day, God willing, before it is to late. You realize this has to end. And you stop and cut smoking out of you life. Some do it could turkey, some do it slowly, some keep Philip around and let him spend time with them only a few times a year. Either way, Suddenly you miss it. you are sad, feel off balance and are a little depressed.

Well, that is where I have been. I have been missing my old habits and the never realized how much time they filled.

Growth, it isn't always easy, but the payoff is worth it.

Ask the butterfly.

:0)

AA

Day 14 - Complain drain

There's this section about stopping complaining, Amy and I have talked about it - I'm getting better but it's tough. I think that it becomes such a second nature habit that often, I'll complain without even realizing it!

Jack talks about how when you do complain, "you're complaining to the wrong person..."

I'm super guilty of this. If I'm aggravated with my boss, I'll complain to my sister and if my spouse is driving me crazy, I'll complain to a friend. Why? Why do I do this? I think it's because there's something I want to internally discuss/fix/change/address but I'm fearful. Fearful of making that person upset and fearful of feeling uncomfortable. This is a bad habit. Jack says, "successful people replace complaining with making requests and taking action."

I've been such a passive, people pleasing person for so much of my life. Always afraid of making others upset. I've done way better with this over the course of the last few years but I find it easy to slip into "complaining" mode rather than "action" mode.

Truth is, not only are you more successful when you have control over the outcome of things, but I personally feel so much happier when I am changing /influencing and at very least "being heard" on matters.

I'm going to keep working on this one!

Day 13; (on day 14) Hey,If it was easy everyone would do it.

If it was easy everyone would do it.

TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE!

E+R=O... On it,

(not all that hard for me to apply)

Give up excesses... On it,

(doing really well with this)

Listen to the yellow light... On it,

(so learning to really trust my first instinct's)

Give up complaining... On It,

(still, trying to master)

BE CLEAR WHY YOU ARE HERE!

Design my life's purpose... On it,

(done and happy with it)

Read it every day... On it,

(put it n my desk top so I see it all the time)

Organize all of my activities around it... On it,

(still a work in progress)

NOW THE CATCH...

Doing all these things... all at the same time.

HARD WORK. HARD AS HECK!!!!!

Yesterday, I began to realize that there are some people in my life that just don't work. They don't really support me.

They aren't very happy for my successes.

It seems that I am there for them all most anytime they call on me, but when I call on them they just can't seem to be there.

In the past I would be upset that they wouldn't be there for me.

It would be really upset, hurt me and bothered me.

Wasn't I there every single time they asked me for something??

Why was it so hard for them to be there for me??

Fact is, it wasn't that hard. They just didn't want to, for whatever reasons.

The worst part is that I have considered some of them to be my closest friends.

I would complain to my other friends and say can you believe I asked, so and so, and they said they couldn't.

Ahhhhh Haaaaa.... I was complaining! and complaining to the wrong people.

I need to have a conversation with the friends that are the source of the issue.

Either they will see and understand my point of view. Maybe I will learn why this is happening. And then we can try to build a stronger, equal and more positive relationship.

But there are some that just need to go.

They are not positive and healthy relationships in my life.

I would not be able to have them around on a regular basics and stay "on purpose."

And now the hard part.

E+R=O.

I need to change my response to these people. I need to remove them from my everyday life. In a kind and respectable manner.

I need to accept responsibility that I have allowed myself to become comfortable with the way the relationship is and people can only take what we give them.

This is going to be uncomfortable. Habits must be broken. friendships must change. Some will become stronger. Some will end and some will just fade into the background.

But in the end it will be worth it because I know I will be better off, much happier and "on purpose."

AA

:0)

Ps. I LOVE YOU JEN!

YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND A GIRL COULD ASK FOR.

CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO CATCH A RIDE ON MY JET ON OUR WAY TO YOUR YACHT!

Day 12 -I get knocked down, but get up again...

OK, good thing we are doing this blog for accountability. This is what happens. I get all fired up for week one and then by week two, I start to lose focus. This blog is great though because even though I hate to admit my failure on this entry, it forces me to remain accountable and reminds me to recommit for next time.

I was about to make up a bunch of excuses but I'm going to go the Jack route and take full responsibility - I didn't do the push up today. I briefly thought about my life purpose and briefly thought about this blog and then completely forgot about it, now it's time to go to bed so I'm choosing to not do much work right now.

Tomorrow I will refocus.

I love this quote, "It's not about the fall, it's about the recovery." So - I'm not perfect, so, I have no real Jack to contribute today - does it mean this thing is over? Hell no! If you fall, dust off your seat and get back on track - I'm not giving up just because I've stumbled!

While slightly off Jack track - other things in life are going well -- eating fabulously, super healthy - whole grains, lean proteins, lots of fruits and veggies, healthy oils - I'm feeling great on that front. One of my other personal goals was to stop hoarding (I think I might have a slight hoarding thing going on) and to get very organized this year. I committed to cleaning and organizing every room in my house - I finished my bedroom today and spent 4 full days doing it - never giving up. 8 huge black bags of stuff to donate later and I'm moving on to the next room tomorrow!

So that's all I got for today. Off to do some reading and get "re-fired" up!

Day 11; practicing my life's purpose

Today I have been practicing living my life's purpose:

To use my compassion, insight and creativity to help others feel comfortable and good with who they are as well as help them recognize their own unique inner and outer beauty.

I managed to make applying my life purpose into a little game for myself.

I try see if I can get everyone I come in contact with to feel good and show it,

with at the very least a smile.

How do I do this you ask???

I make conversation with the gas station attendant...

Tell the waitress how great her hair cut is...

Let the lady, with here 3 children in tow, in line behind me at the post office go ahead of me and complement how beautiful her children are...

Tell a colleague how much I appreciate the help they have given me.

There really is only one rule...

Every complement and every conversation MUST BE SINCERE AND GUIENE.

Guess what???? So much fun! And makes me feel pretty great too!

I have actually been smiling almost all day.

It has made me feel different, kind of special and, this might sound a little crazy,powerful as well.

It is like I have secret super power.

With just a few sincere words from me you will fall prey to my new found super power and feel good.

Now I have to admit today may have been fun and so easy because I was not at work. Tomorrow will be a big test. I am working all day. Lets see if my super powers are as strong on a work day?

AA

:0)

Day 10 - Clearly, I'm still not sure why I'm here...

Well, that's not all together true. I made an attempt a few days ago to figure out "my purpose" but Amy pointed out to me that it was kind of weak and she was right. I think it's probably part of the fear that can bubble up when you start down this kind of self-improvement path. You just don't want to mess it up. AND a life purpose does seem like such a big deal!! Talk about commitment - your life purpose is your whole reason of living!!

So anyway, I guess I came up with something that sounded a'ight and was trying to gloss on to the next chapter. It was pretty subconscience (sp?). I really thought I was doing the exercise but in hindsight, I rushed thru it and didn't give it another thought since. So not a Jack move. Good thing, I've got Acton to keep me honest :)

So I've been doing a lot of thinking on this one. This is what I've got after many attempts:

"My life purpose is to use my optimism and creativity to uplift others in a empathetic way to find their own unique talents to shine."

I'm still not 100% sure of this but I feel like I'm getting closer. Guess I'm still a work in progress on this one. Jack suggests considering meditation to help your purpose come. So I may turn to that.

Day 9; Principle 2 Be Clear Why You're Here

Principle #2

Be Clear Why You Are Here

This principle suggests that each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take.

Successful people take the time to understand what they are here to do. And then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm.

If you don't have a life purpose it is very easy to get sidetracked, wander, drift and accomplish little. But with a purpose everything seems to fall into place.

Everything you do should be an expression of your purpose. If an activity doesn't fit that formula, you wouldn't (and I suppose shouldn't) work on it PERIOD!

Figure out what you love to do as young as you can and then organize your life around figuring out how to make a living at it.

After some thinking, soul searching and completing The Life Purpose Exercise on page 23 I have put my life purpose into words.

My Life purpose:

To use my compassion, insight and creativity to help others feel comfortable and good with who they are as well as help them recognize their own unique inner and outer beauty.

I love it. I feel good about it. Now to live it!

AA

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week 1 in review

As the first week of our experiment draws to a close, I thought I'd reflect a little on some key SP concepts...

1) When it comes to the principles, you gotta actually do the work, if you want to lose weight, "no one can do the push-up for you." (Crap, you mean I actually have to use the gym membership?)

2) Take 100% Responsibility. Our choices affect everything - once we take responsibility rather than sit back & "let" things happen, we realize that we have the power to do anything... Lose the excuse - life is tough but we have the ability to achieve these things when we give up excuses and find solutions rather than dwell on obstacles. (but... but... but nothing!)

3) Stop complaining. Successful people replace complaining with making requests and taking action that will achieve your desired outcomes. (Complaining! Bah. not to complain but I hate complainers! ;0)

4) Heed "yellow alerts" - Amy spoke about these. To simplify, it's your "gut instinct" or other indicators of trouble that we often ignore. Successful people, tune into these alerts and trust them. Sometimes it's the tougher road but it's the one we need to start taking. (I knew it!)

5) Be Clear On Why You're Here: Figure out your life purpose - which is a combination of reflecting on your unique personal qualities + how you like to express those qualities when interacting with others while envisioning how people would act in a perfect world. (I'm pretty sure my purpose includes an Oscar after-party and a few million dollars...)

Though it was personally a rocky start to the New Year, I am excited to look ahead and anxious to do the work, take responsibility, give up complaining, pay attention to alerts and live my life purpose!! Why? Because, "yes we Can... field!"

xo

Jen

DAY 7; Principle 1

I have to tell you, there is something to this taking 100% responsibility and no complaining.

I FEEL FANTASTIC!

I am sick with a serious cough and cold, I am saddened by the Passing of Jen's dear sister-in-law Maritza, I have been working my ass off, putting in 14 hour days...

BUT BY GOLLY I FEEL GOOD. REALLY GOOD.

A simple adjustment in attitude can really make all the difference.

Also paying serious attention to my yellow alerts has made a big difference. I have realized when something doesn't feel right to me, it isn't right for me!

Now, when something doesn't feel right I STOP, take a moment, analyze, and see if there is anything I can do to make it feel right. If I can't, I will simply and politely remove myself from the situation.

A great thing I have been experiencing is, it seems, most people really do care and don't want others to be unhappy or uncomfortable.

When you let others know you are not comfortable, for the most part, they are are interested and genuinely willing to try and find a way to make everyone involved happy, at the very least comfortable.

This has reminded me, we are all human, we all want to be happy and feel comfortable. It is something that I believe everyone can relate to.

So, when your yellow lights go on don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. People actually respond positively to it and I think, respect it.

I feel like I am ready.

Principle 2 here I come!

Day 6: The Meaning of Life

I've ventured into Principle Two of TSP (The Success Principles) and the title of that Principle is, BE CLEAR ON WHY YOU'RE HERE. It's pretty much all about defining "your purpose."

Makes sense. If you're stuck in a crappy job but don't know what you really want to do, it's easy to stay put. It's hard enough to go for your dreams when you have a clear idea of what your dreams are.

When kids are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" They'll joyfully blurt, "fireman, nurse, baseball player, ballerina..." Kids don't say, "hmmm, what comes with a good benefit package?" They don't question whether or not they've got the skills for the position or if it's "realistic." No. Kids go with what they think they would enjoy at the moment. Some kids even want to do a few things, "I wanna be a lawyer, astronaut and hot dog chef," might be a response.

It took me a long time to realize that I'm meant to tell stories and write - ultimately entertain. It's funny, if I look through my life, I've always been a writer. I remember being six years old and "writing" a very short play (a musical no less!) for a few of the neighborhood kids, It was called, "It's A New Year Tom & Jerry." I found a curtain, I gathered props. I cast Tom and Jerry and that's about all I remember in my fuzzy memory of that. Not even sure we ever performed it but there I was writing a play - then when I was eight, I wrote a short story called "The Hungry Cat," which I still have (thank to my slight hoarding habit) and I went on to write several poems through grammar school. In HS & college I excelled in my classes (which I credited to my ability to write a good paper no matter what. I could "BS" my way into an A) I thought. Always writing poems and small ideas.

But never did I think to pursue writing as a profession. I never thought I was good enough to get paid for it. I thought I was just OK. I could never be as good as a "real" writer. I didn't bother to try to write for the school paper and it never dawned on me to give writing any meaningful thought.

I always loved film & television. During college, I decided to study Communications. I wanted to work in TV. I interned, worked hard and got hired on a National Talk Show right out of college. By the time I was 22 I was an associate producer. A fancy title! Cool business cards! Good salary and great benefits! Life is good. but it wasn't. The job was 24/7 - it was stressful, pounding work and it wasn't making me happy. I took a step back in title... It took a few years of wandering through different positions at the same company for me to finally stumble upon my bliss... WRITING... Screenplays.

Hmmm. I loved writing. And film.... Why did it take me until the age of 27 to realize that not only would this make total sense for me, but I'd actually be pretty good at it!?

Amy, already having a screenplay under her belt, Co-wrote my first venture into screenwriting, "Searching For Ben Affleck." A screenplay I'm still proud of to this day. Since then, I've gone on to write more than 12 different shorts, feature length and spec sit-coms scripts.

I also enjoy developing stories through reality television shows, documentary and informative programming.

Jack has an exercise on page 23 of TSP that help you define your purpose - If i was to define my purpose, it's: "to entertain and inspire people through creative mediums."

So, I definitely think I'm on the right track at this point.

On a side note, today and tomorrow are the services for my sister-in-law. I'm sad. Her death is a reminder to me that life does goes quickly and we need to make sure we are living with purpose and following our dreams while we are here.

xo

Jen

Day 5

So here I am in day three of principle one; Take 100% Responsibility for your life.

I have to say, so far so good. Now, I don't want to lie and make it seem like this has gone off without a hitch...

Sunday started off with a complaint. I was having my morning coffee and I said to my husband that I did not want to go to work. " Yeah, I hear you it must really suck to have to go to work at a major TV network on a hit show and have a great time at work once you are there. Man, you have it rough" Mockingly he said to me. "Remember NO complaining" he firmly reminded me.

Since then I have caught myself a few times. Now, if I start to complain, I stop... Then tack and adjust my train of thought. I look for the good in the task I was about to complain about.

For and example loading the dish washer, a task I do not love. I simply stop and think how happy I am to have a dishwasher. Then I think about how, in the near future, I will be able to have a housekeeper come and load the dishwasher for me if I want.

:0)

AA

Day 4: The Dog Ate my Blog

OK, so I'm starting to feel a little better physically and emotionally. Thank you to all who expressed their condolences for our loss and concern over my illness.

I had enough energy to get back into Jack so I began to tackle some of the first chapter. And it's main focus is taking responsibility. Amy talked about it some - and her decision not to complain anymore as Jack recommends.

What hit home for me was the section titled, "You Have To Give Up All Your Excuses."

"If you want to create the life of your dreams then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life... giving up victim stories, all the reasons why you can or can't... It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you -- it is you! We stop ourselves. We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors... We fail to educate ourselves, learn new skills, engage in gossip, eat unhealthy foods, fail to exercise, spend too much money, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don't ask for what we want."

Well, holy crap. I am very guilty of excuses. When you read this chapter in depth, and examine what it means to make excuses and not take responsibility for your life, you start to realize that you are probably soooo guilty too. If you've ever uttered the words, "My life sucks because my job sucks." Or anything of the sort... You are guilty. Because you're making the choice to have a sucky life by staying in a sucky job.

Yes, you might have a mortgage and mouths to feed. People may not have the "luxury" to just quit. But there are always ways out. Most of us stay in "sucky jobs" and "sucky" situations more out of comfort than anything else. Change forces us out of our comfort zones. Often, when people are faced with whether they should consider using their time to really job hunt or learn a new trade or skill, go back to school, full on network - people opt to give into that feeling of, "eh why bother?" and they stay put, it feels immediately easier to stay in mediocre or even bad than shoot for great... I was guilty. I actually was in a somewhat comfy job, I liked the people I worked with enough, the job was okish but I felt there was more out there for me - I often didn't feel like I was operating at full potential or encouraged to. Yet, I stayed, I didn't try to get anything else and aside from being guilty of comfort I was even more guilty of being uncomfortable with the idea of change, rocking the boat, taking a chance, confrontation, having to quit and leave the people I'd worked with for years of thinking I'd be disappointing my boss and coworkers... I had an immense fear of leaving and winding up in a worse place and it paralyzed me to stay in a position of ok instead of seeking great.

In the past year, I've made so many excuses for things. Even losing weight. How many times when I had a full time job I uttered the words, "I don't have time for exercise." Now that I'm working from my home and theoretically have "time" to exercise, I still hear myself saying, "I don't have time to exercise." Yes I do and yes I did even when I was working in New York City full time. I might not like the time frame I have to exercise. Be it getting up at 5 AM or going at 8:30 PM but I technically can walk, do jumping jacks in place or go to the gym at those times - I've chosen not to. Why? Because quite frankly at 5 AM, I am choosing sleep and the warmth of my bed and at 8:30 PM I'm typically choosing a trashy reality television show but that's my choice. So, I have to take responsibility and say I am choosing not to use those times to exercise - instead of making the "excuse" of not having the time at all.

At first glance, excuses are like nice warm fuzzy blankets that comfort you. It pushes the fault off of you, it takes the decision out of your hands... "It's not my fault I'm fat... I just don't have time." But it's bullshit and the thing is, once you acknowledge it's BS, it's actually kind of liberating because now you can change your thinking from it's impossible to it's possible - you can control your life, your weight, your job, your dreams, your destiny...

Can I do it...? "Yes I Can... field!" (Oh I'm back.)

People stay with the wrong partner, in jobs that don't satisfy them, stop reaching for dreams, going for things they want for all kinds of "reasons" (excuses). We become so programmed to believe these limiting things that we take it as fact and not excuse.

Anyway, I'm going to work on this. If i want to lose weight, I'm going to lose weight. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it. No more blaming the economy, my boss, the decade, the weather, a bad hair day for my problems. No more complaining.

I gotta go, I have weight to lose!

Oh crap, the cat peed on my Tae Bo tape. maybe tomorrow ;)

xo

Jen